Believing other people’s thoughts

My ex partner has thoughts that I lied to him about who I was. I said I was keen to start an allotment but after a few months I lost interest. I said to him when we met that I would love to live in a farm and maybe one day learn how to make cheese 🙂 In reality I love living rurally and would rather get a retreat centre and my coaching business going than learn how to make cheese!

He wanted the good life and has thoughts that I have let him down on that front. He and my mum talk and I am am sure they have talked about the sense of let down he has thoughts about. The other day she told me I was very ‘convincing’ and that i had the ability to make people believe things – he believed that he would have one sort of life with me and then I changed my mind – my mum said she could see why he was disappointed.

My thoughts range from:
T – It’s fine to change your mind about what you want
T – Perhaps they are right and there is something wrong with me

I find myself wanting to seek assurance that it is fine to change my mind which makes me think I don’t believe it. I also feel guilty which makes me see my thoughts are that there is something I have done wrong.

I would love some help in getting to belief with this model:

C – Life together with the man we’ll call Fred
T – I changed my mind about some aspects of it / or I have new and different plans
F – Guilty / Optimistic
A – Inaction / Get on with realising plans
R – I don’t fulfill plans / plans are fulfilled

Thanks for your help coaches!