Better sleep so I can stop thinking and feeling “I’m so tired”

I’ve been wrestling with feeling physically tired for a long time. For the past several years my sleep has been erratic. Occasionally I get a good night’s sleep, but more often than not, I do not. I generally don’t lay awake worrying about things, but rather my brain just feels wired to be on, even when I’m physically exhausted (I have a tedious habit of replaying totally normal conversations in my head, just for the sake of it – not because I feel like I said or did something wrong, etc). I also have trouble if I know I’m not going to get enough sleep on a given night, or if I have to get up earlier than normal for a change in routine, etc. After a few nights of any of these scenarios, I’ll start getting worked up about trying (and needing) to get a good night’s sleep. The more I think about it, the harder it is to accomplish (though when this happens in the middle of the night, I do try and manage my thoughts to be okay with being restless instead of mentally freaking out about it)! Sometimes I can fall asleep right away, but I’ll wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes it’s the opposite of this, and other times I am seemingly more or less awake all night. I feel like I am resting, but definitely not in deep sleep. As a result of this, I almost always feel physically tired.

As far as lifestyle goes, I feel like I am doing everything right to promote good sleep: My diet is mostly sugar and flour free (tiny amounts of both occasionally). I don’t drink a lot of alcohol and typically no more than 2 drinks when I do (any more than that and I KNOW it will wake me up in the middle of the night). Likewise with caffeine, 1-2 cups in the morning only. I walk a lot and do yoga. I try and avoid screen time at night and also try to stick to a consistent bedtime, wakeup time and nightly routine. I’m 46, so perimenopause and hormone changes are here, but poor sleep has been my status quo for several years. I try a lot of mental techniques, both before going to sleep and also if I am experiencing sleeplessness, but often they don’t help.

I’ll take any advice 🙂 but have 2 specific questions.

1. How do I change my recurring thought pattern of “I’m so tired” when I really am physically tired from lack of sleep?

2. Do you have any suggestions on how I might improve my sleep? I know its probably 99% mental, but I can’t seem to figure it out.

Thank you!