Big Sister/ Lil Sister Issues

Hi! So I am trying to work on those broken relationships that I have in my life and thank God there aren’t many.  I have been listening to a lot of Brooke’s stuff on relationships and have found them inspirational and helpful.  The main hard relationship I have in my life is with my older sister.  I am the youngest of 4 kids.  The sister that is closest to me in age is a real gift.  We are best friends and have a relationship that most people have never experienced.  A closeness that is so deep and awesome.

My oldest sister and I have never been close.  It’s my belief that she has and always will look at me as her little sister who does not know better no matter how old we get.  When she moved back home after college for a year (I was in 9th grade) she was an unhappy bulimic and I was an unhappy anorexic and we had the hardest year of our lives together.  I feel like we are still trying to heal from that awful year together.

Anyway, I really do want to work on this relationship and heal up the wounds and work on moving forward.  I do believe that it could be very sweet if I could just get over some of her comments that I take to heart.  Lately most of our communication is over family whatsapp groups. Last week we were discussing my mom’s birthday and planning something for my mom.  I wrote ” Why don’t we do something on February 28th on her actual birthday?” And she wrote back   “OMG.  That’s not even her actual birthday.  It’s February 24th.” (followed with the woman hitting her head emoji like “what an idiot!”

This is my model:

C: My sister’s comment on the Whatsapp group
T: What a bitch! She thinks she knows everything! She thinks she’s better than me!
F: Inadequate, offended and a little vengeful
A: Trying to come up with a witty or snarky comment back while not seeming offended
R: Disconnected to sister and disgust with her thinking she is better than me.

I am feeling stuck when it comes to changing my thought, though I know EVERYTHING is riding on my thought but I feel hurt like we are little kids again and don’t know how to move through it.  Any thoughts?  Thanks so much!!