My boss will be leaving for a new job soon. This is unexpected as she’s been there for over 15 years. She has not been my favorite boss, however, she was a buffer between me and the owner of the business. Once she leaves, I believe I will have to directly work with the owner who I am not very fond of. Right now, I am mentally freaking out and trying to process the news. Of course, this change isn’t inherently bad and I don’t have to stay at the job if I don’t want to, but the change is scaring me. These are my initial thoughts:

– It’s going to be so different
– She deserves to be happy
– I wanted to leave this job first
– I don’t want her to get another job
– She’s not going to do well at her new job
– Why is this happening to me
– It’s going to be so much work for me
– This year will be so hard
– This isn’t fair
– I don’t know what to do next
– I should have left before this could happen
– I hate this
– I don’t want this to happen
– I don’t want to go through this
– I don’t want to have to talk to the owner about anything
– I don’t know how to negotiate
– I don’t know how to stand up for myself in a business sense
– This fucks everything up
– I really need to get my shit together now

I’m feeling fear, worry, confusion, anger, self criticism, doubt, disappointment in myself, and shame.