I’ve been looking at my furrowed brow, my “11s,” and my nasolabial folds and feelings like I look OLD and really need Botox and fillers (but it’s actually not an option for me right now because I’m breastfeeding, and we also plan to try to get pregnant again within the next year. It could be years before I could get Botox.)

My mom has this pretty bad, and I feel like I genetically inherited it from her. (She’s never done Botox or any work to her face.) I sometimes feel like I look worse than other women my age.

[Unintentional Model]
C: I am 36 years old. I have lines on my forehead, “11s” between my eyebrows, and somewhat sunken in nasolabial folds.
T: I look so ugly and old; I need Botox.
F: Self-hatred | Critical
A: I focus on that every time I look in the mirror or photos, and I focus on how much I hate that.
R: I feel inadequate. I feel not hot. I feel bad about the way I look. I feel like I don’t look as good as I did in my early 30s or when my husband met me. I feel like he must not be as attracted to me anymore (even though he still says I’m hot).

So that unintentional model is working pretty well for me. I want to help with an intentional model… This is what I’ve come up with. It’s somewhat believable, but not always believable. The unintentional model is stronger for me.

[Intentional Model]
C: I am 36 years old. I have lines on my forehead, “11s” between my eyebrows, and somewhat sunken in nasolabial folds.
T: I am beautiful.
F: Appreciative | Love
A: I focus on my eyes, my lips, my face shape, the things I like about myself.
R: I feel good about myself! I feel hot. I feel beautiful—my self-confidence increases. I move through the world with love.