I’m not sure if this is something I can be coached on because it kind of deals with my childhood (the past) but I have worked with a therapist for a year on it and it’s something I still struggle with.

I’m an adult and I’ve been moved out of my parents home for the last 6 years. I was raised in a very physical abusive home and lied a lot as child out of fear of the punishment that would be given to me. A lot of time, I would be punished for not “succeeding” at something or having a different opinion than my parents. The lying has became a habit that I no longer what to have. I want to be a very authentic, honest person but have noticed I still have moments where I lie about things that I don’t want to lie about. I won’t even notice I lied until its been to late and I have already said the lie. I know it’s out of fear, but I’m not sure the exact thoughts I am having.

Here is an example:

So last night me and my girlfriend went out to dinner and she was sharing that her sister is a compulsive liar.

C: My friend said: “My sister is a compulsive liar.”
T: ?
F: fear
A: get on my phone, scroll instagram
R: I lie about something out of fear that she might think the same thought about me.

C: My husband asked “How is your business going?
T: It’s going horrible.
F: embarrassed
A: I start touching my face,
R: I share with him that something amazing happened in my business when it didn’t.

I then end a lot of my relationships after I lie to someone because I feel horrible that I lied to them and think that I don’t deserve them as a friend because I told them a lie.

I don’t want to lie to people. It’s not a habit I want to have. Can this be something I can be coached on?

Thank you.