Hi Brooke

My brother and his family (3 girls and wife) live far from us and I don’t see them very often but I did talk/text them reasonably regularly. My brothers eldest, 18 year old daughter is on drugs, has left school, stays out all night, she has tried suicide by cutting her wrists and just come out of hospital with extensive tendon surgery, she is also having sex with lots of men for drugs. She is a lovely kid, was a champion national swimmer but things for her and their family have gone terribly wrong over the past 6 months or so and they are all so desperately worried and terrified she will end up dead on the street somewhere. My sister in law won’t talk about it to anyone because of the ‘shame’ it might bring on their family etc she hasn’t told her own parents or any friends either. My brother and his wife are fighting a lot because of the stress and worry over their daughter and she has said he is not aloud to discuss their daughter or fears with anyone but my brother needs to talk so he has talked to me and our mother much to my sister in laws fury. My sister in law knows I know about my niece and that my mum also knows. I am so worried too as I have children and I know that this could be me, just like the thousands of families all over the world who’s kids are on drugs. I sent my sister in law a text today, which read “you’r e a wonderful mum and I love you” My brother send a text to me to say “don’t ever text A again” and I felt so upset as I was only trying to let her/them know that they are not alone, that we are here to support and love them day or night. I don’t know what to do to help or support them. I have sent meals up and send the occasional text message of support and love. I have done my models and I know that I am hurting my own feelings by being hurt by the rebuke, but I feel powerless to support a family who is so in need of support and love. How do I love on them when they don’t want to talk to anyone, how do I let them know that we are here for them, that they don’t need to suffer in silence. Does no mean no, given I have been told to not send any messages, do I respect that and just leave them to it? I very much appreciate and advice. Thank you.