Hi! I had an AMAZING session with Julie Brown today (thank you!) about “coming out” to my mom as a weight coach when my mom has struggled with losing weight for my whole life. One of our big themes was caring about her feelings without taking responsibility for them when she responds to me telling her. Is there any problem with running models on potential circumstances that I’m afraid of? Like this…

C (has not happened): I tell my mom I am a weight loss coach and she says “that’s painful” (or she cries)
T: I shouldn’t have done that.
F: guilt, pain
A: I never mention it again, I create a little bit of distance between my mom.
R: I create more pain in our relationship and I don’t show up authentically.

Alternate (same C)
T: I love my mom and can show her that I’m doing this because I’ve seen her pain.
F: empathy
A: Stay present to listen to her or give her space as she needs
R: relationship will heal up with a little time.

C: My mom says “That doesn’t seem like a good idea.”
T: She thinks I’m a failure.
F: inadequate
A: don’t show up in my coaching practice
R: I am a failure.

Alternate…

T: It’s okay if she doesn’t understand.
F: disappointed but accepting
A: move forward with my own practice
R: Things are ok

Happy to hear any suggestions!