I am longing for closer relationships. I’m 55 and am empty nester. I am blessed with a loving husband and am close to my children, though we don’t speak often because they are busy with their own lives and do not live close by.

I wish I had more good friends. I’ve reached out and tried to connect, taking the initiative with both people I know and also making an effort to meet new people. But after a couple years of consistently doing this, I have still not had a reciprocal friendship that has grown into something deeper. I’ve been coached on thinking other thoughts, like having the connection come from me, but there’s a part of me that still has a manual and wants to be invited and called, not always being the one who does this and reaches out. I’m feeling lonely.

I’ve done models around changing my thoughts and feelings so that my actions are to continue to put myself out there; but it feels like I am trying to create a result that involves other people’s actions (ie, them reaching out to me or wanting me to be their friend).

I’ve done models focused just on me and enjoying my own company (ie being my own best friend). This has worked to a degree and I have a better relationship with myself; but again, there are many times when I’m still lonely and sad about the number of close friendships that I have at this stage of my life.