I am a union steward at my job. Three weeks ago my coworkers had a meeting with our manager to discuss schedule and staffing concerns. After the meeting the manager called me because there was a task that needed to be performed, after she relayed this work task she told me that she felt “disrespected” and “attacked” during the meeting. If this continued she would discontinue the meetings. Manager identified 2 coworkers that she felt fell disrespected or attacked her. I said I would address it. The coworker shared some meetings she had with the manager that didn’t turn out well. The second coworker denied this had occurred. However keeps bringing it up and told me I should not have told her and she won’t be coming to any more meetings.

She brought up for a third time on Friday afternoon. I need help to deal with my thoughts about my coworker.

C Margaret asked me to tell her for at least the 3rd time to repeat what manager said
T I do not want to
F Dread
A I repeat to my best recollection what was said, stress manager didn’t call me to tell me this specially but did tell me how she felt. I tell Margret “thoughts are not facts”
Not doing – tell Margaret what I think – she was disrespectful in the meeting
R distaste for talking to Margaret

I think in my role I need to manage my thoughts and feelings better when I deal with managers and coworkers. Whatever I say, it can be used against me or to make me the target for their thoughts and feelings which I still feel responsible for. Can you help me take a closer look at my unintentional model and help me get started on an intentional one?