Coaching Myself Through Self-judgment

I realized that I have a lot of self-judgment, especially when it comes to how I show up in areas of my life that I value the most such as how I show up as a mother and daughter, or as a professional. If I feel like I didn’t show up as a loving mother or daughter, or as a competent professional, I beat myself up about it with harsh self-talk, and feelings of deep guilt.

I’ve done thought downloads and Models which have helped me see that self-judgment is a pattern, but I’m not sure how to self-coach myself through my own judgment besides telling myself to “be kind to myself,” and “be compassionate of my thoughts.” That helps for a little while, but I seem to keep coming back to the self-judgment. I feel like “being kind and compassionate” with myself are a quick fix thought that aren’t really helping me actually change.

Any suggestions for tools, strategies, or questions to ask myself that might help me better deal with my self-judgment?

Thank you.