Commitment to myself

Just to let you know, Brooke,

Only recently I made the connection.

I’m not overweight. But i know buffering with food once in a while, and it feels mentally as ‘losing control’, physically just lousy. I was always looking for a deep important reason, for “what had happened that day (or even years ago) that made me do this”. But now I realise I overeat when I don’t stick to the commitments I made for the day, commitments with MYSELF. When still working for an employer I wouldn’t consider not to do what I had planned or promised. But working at home, as an artist, alone, I still do all that I’ve planned with and for others (family, kid, school…), but I’m not always that trustworthy with myself.
I also realised that the planning I made (in the past) for myself never included ‘doing nothing’, reading a magazine, watching a film… I only planned work or family related tasks.

That has changed? I plan. I also plan a hike with my dog, for even 3 hours, plan to watch 2 episodes of a favourite series. Whatever. And now without feelings of guild.

And as you say: When I put my head on my pillow I feel fulfilled, not per se because I did more than before, but because I did what I promised myself I would accomplice on that specific day. That feels great.

Thank you!