Compelling reasons

I cannot find a compelling reason that means I feel determined enough to stay on protocol.
I have tried the following:
-I want to fit into and feel amazing in my clothes
-I want to be confident and feel sexy
-My body feels its healthiest at my goal weight
-I want to be a role model of healthy eating and lifestyle for my young daughter
-I want to trust myself and honour my future self

Then I drink too much, eat too much, and give up the whole day and say to myself I’ll start again the next day. How can I break this cycle? Feeling so despondent.