Both a family member and a friend, I’ve noticed over time, have very similar characteristics and as I’ve worked on my personal development I’ve found I’m better not engaging in ongoing pretty mindless conversations via text with them. They really don’t ask anything about me or show any interest, and when I bring things up they are critical about things both small and things important to me with answers like “well I guess you won’t let that happen again” or telling me I give my child too many toys or whatever. Over time I’ve noticed these people will talk to me all day I think to just kill time, but I’m working on growing a business and don’t care for getting memes or mindless pings from them all day. So I’ve backed off.
But once in a while, something will come up and they’ll reach out. And I will wait until I truly have free time, even if that’s a day later to text respond. Sometimes I don’t respond at all because they’re trying to tell me to do something. For example one family member had accidentally shipped me holiday gifts meant for someone else, and then I had to drive to a previous address to get the gifts numerous times. I’ve actually asked this person to NOT send gifts but they hassle me into it all the time, and now into gifts for my son it’s really annoying. So they sent these gifts, and then didn’t take my shipping info out of the account. Then they ordered themselves a lot of stuff, and now I have to mail them to them (another state). I am very much resisting wasting my time on this. even though I could have UPS come pick it up – I don’t feel like wasting any more time filling out UPS info online or calling the person to get their CC number to send it. That’s just one example. No I haven’t sent it to them (I think the store refunded them) and I don’t feel like it.
The same person, accidentally sent other people’s gifts to me, but I didn’t know and assumed one was for my children that was not. I thanked them for it, and they just responded in a paragraph saying how the gift wasn’t for them, it was for another family member. They didn’t provide any resolution. they didn’t say just keep it. they didn’t say ship it to them. And so I’m feeling stuck because I don’t want to respond and ask what they want me to do about it, because I don’t feel like shipping this one either. And I don’t feel like saying “oh I’m so sorry that happened” because really I’m sick of dealing with these stupid gifts I don’t want.
The irony is they said my kids have too many things, then send 3 of the SAME ITEM. Only 1 can be used at a time. I didn’t want 2. And now I don’t need the 3rd extra one but they are just making it sound like I’ve inconvenienced them.
I’m new to the model and not sure what to do at this point.
