Crazy powerful thoughts

I’ve been following a 16-17 hour IF protocol for the last 8 weeks quite easily.

This weekend we are staying at my in-laws house. I’m not very comfortable here and would never help myself to food in their kitchen.

It’s 3 hours past my eating cutoff time and I feel hungry and can’t stop thinking about food, even though I’ve eaten on protocol today.

I’m sure it’s emotional hunger because I don’t feel like my next meal is within my control.

There was a time when I was a homeless teenager and didn’t eat anything for over 60 days and that’s when my eating issues and fear of missing out started.

C: Food at relatives
T: I can’t eat if I’m hungry
F: Fear, uncomfortable, hungry control
A: panic, worry
R: Feel weak and out of control

Intentional model:
C: Food at relatives
T: I’m an adult and can go buy food if I need to.
F: Slightly comforted
A: Remind myself everything is okay and I can eat if I want/need to
A: Relax and know I’m safe.

Any other suggestions for my intentional model? Or for feeling fearful when there’s a lack of food or it’s not in my control?

I’m sure the answer is to change my thoughts that it IS within my control.

But it doesn’t really feel like it. I’m also afraid of drawing attention to myself so if I really felt the need to go get food, I wouldn’t want to draw attention to myself by doing so.

This makes me see I haven’t made as much progress as I thought.