The dare: I’m attending a conference and want to use it as an opportunity to practice telling other people what I do. This is twofold: 1) I want to practice giving myself space instead of giving space to others all the time. 2) I want to practice being more open and communicative about my coaching business. There will be potential clients at the conference. I’m challenging myself to approach at least five people.

My thoughts are: No one will want to talk to me. I will stay on my own the whole time. They will think I’m strange. They won’t understand what I do. They won’t see that value of what I do. They will think I’m not qualified enough. They won’t take me seriously. I’m not one of them. I turned my back on this industry many years before (and they will hate me for that).

Models:

UM
C Tell five people at conference what I do
T They won’t take me seriously
F Inferior
A Do not approach people, do not share what I do, separate myself from everyone else, judge them and their behavior
R Didn’t take myself seriously because I withdrew
Didn’t take the others seriously because I judged them

IM
C Tell five people at conference what I do
T I take myself seriously – no matter what
F Self-confident
A Show up, be fully present, participate, approach people, talk about what I do, let others be who they are, let them think what they decide to think, behave like they choose to behave
R Took myself seriously because I used this opportunity for growth (approach people, shared what I do)

I was pretty much acting out my intentional model at the conference. I was doing this a few times now with meet-ups and conferences. And I can see that I’m getting better at managing my thoughts and feelings, thus acting from self-confidence.

One more remarkable thing about this dare: I noticed that I identify very much with what I do. When (I think) someone judges what I do, I have very strong feelings like offended, hurt, rejected. Do you have any recommendations for further inquiry here?