I am so proud of myself!

This morning I saw something that my brain found so incredibly difficult. My skin was burning off and I felt sick and nauseous, my primitive brain wanted to end my marriage right then and there out of fear and anger. I suddenly doubted everything I’ve taught myself to believe in lately.

As hard as it was, I decided to see the circumstance as neutral. And then I sat down and invited all the feelings in (hello pain and rejection and doubt and despair) and did a thought download. I coached myself. I found thoughts that would serve me better. I found a really empowering one that I believed: I am never a victim, I always have a choice.

Then I acted from that place I’d found of empowerment, unconditional love for myself and for him. I made him coffee, had breakfast nicely as a family, then found a quiet moment to speak to him, to tell him honestly what I’d seen and to ask him to do something for me in this situation (while not hanging my emotions on whether he would agree). He did immediately agree, and opened up to me, and asked if I was okay.

I feel so empowered and confident. When I look at the results that I would have gotten if I had stayed in a place of fear and defensiveness and victimhood, I am so happy I recognised my ability to choose something better for me.

It may not sound like much when I write it out like this, but there was tremendous cognitive dissonance I had to overcome, and I did it and I feel so proud.

This is the power of self coaching. Just yesterday I was feeling so strong in my new beliefs that I’ve been practicing, and then today I experienced the 50/50 and I got another amazing chance to practice them. This makes me so excited to keep believing in myself, in my marriage, in my dreams. I can’t wait to see all the results that will come in the future when I manage my mind (and it feels particularly sweet and light already knowing that there’s nowhere better than here, I’m already here, it doesn’t get better than this and I really am starting to know that). No question, but happy to hear your comments or observations on my work, and I just want to celebrate this moment!