Ok, I understand how all this works for the most part.

I think I just need help with how I would respond to my mom.

Here is the scenario that happened last night on the phone.

C: mom calls and tells me I don’t call her enough and that it hurts her feelings.
T: 🙄🙄
•no, I did not hurt her feelings-she did.
•this is just another way she’s trying to make me feel bad about myself and I’m not letting it happen.
•she cannot be serious.
•I call her once a week, but after this I’m going to make it even less than that.
F: frustrated and guilty. Then pissed because I feel guilty.
A: tries to come up with ways to free myself from guilt and be civil with her at the same time.
R: neautral. Good because it’s forcing me to work on ways to take control of my life and bad because I’m still not over this.

This is what I came up with as a response the next time she says this:

“Mom, I call you once a week. Other than that, you are always calling me. So I don’t see what the problem is.”

This is the truth, and can be proven by law.
FYI- my mother completely believes that us girls are the cause of all her hurt feelings. (There are 4 of us girls) She also claims she is nothing without us. I’m only telling you this so you will understand what I’m up against.

Thank you so much.

Debbie