Diet mentality and powerless

I keep choosing to overeat and eat off protocol. Once I go slightly off my brain says might as well keep going and I just focus on the food. I’m acting like an addict looking for a fix. And I’m regaining all the weight I lost a year ago.
I know you’ll say it’s because of my thoughts, so I keep practising my better intentional thoughts but clearly I don’t believe them and when the thoughts like I need comfort or I can’t handle this or in out of control pop up I seem to choose to rather believe them.
I’m so frustrated with myself and every morning I see a higher weight and get angry with myself which leads to more eating.
Last week I managed 6 days pretty much on protocol but I think I must’ve been white knuckling it because when my weight went up instead of down I ran out of willpower and now here I am again.
I’m embarrassed to post this but I need to be honest about what’s going on if I’m going to turn it around.