Background: My BF is responsible for cleaning dishes in our household. I do most of the cooking. We eat most meals at home or, if eaten at work, from containers taken from home.

Unintentional model:
C: BF states, “Why are there so many dirty dishes?”
T: BF complains about the dishes a lot!
F: Angry, picked on, demeaned, not good enough
A: Hand wash my breakfast dishes, reuse certain glass cups all week. Try to only use sheet pans or 1 pan for cooking. Feel bad about using dishes. Feel angry that he is restricting me. Realize I don’t want to do the dishes either. Feel like if I don’t want to do the dishes why would he. Think it’s his job. Wonder if our jobs aren’t fairly split (he’s doing more around the house than me). Realize I don’t want to take on more jobs (1) because I’m lazy, (2) b/c I want to have free time, (3)b/c he is a perfectionist and always has criticisms. Wonder if I am creating too many dirty dishes

Intentional model:
C: BF states “Why are there so many dirty dishes?”
T: I create dirty dishes when I create nutritious, tasty meals that fuel our bodies
F: Excited
A: Create delicious meals; don’t focus on how/when the dishes will get done. Use what I need to use. If it’s not clean, clean it.
R: I create tasty nutritious food

As I looked at the intentional model, these other things came up for me:
1. Thought; I’m causing this problem – this carries over into the intentional model and is making the intentional model hard to believe. I am new at thought work but this really leaped out as a very common thought for me.
2. The action “if it’s not clean, clean it” in the intentional model is not very believable either – it starts to create all of the other thoughts in the unintentional model again.

How are my models? and what are my next steps?