I had a dinner with a close friend the other night and he brought my umbrella that I left at his house before.
When I saw it, it wasn’t the right one. It was much lighter and the ribs of the umbrella were thin and weak. It was basically a cheaper version.
I asked him “I don’t think this is mine. Mine was much heavier.” I remembered because it was basically the best folding umbrella I had.
He denied it and gave me the lighter version. I didn’t want to get into an argument so I just gave up and we decided to go have dinner.
I know it’s a really silly thing to be clinging to but I just couldn’t stop having thoughts like “he’s giving me the cheaper one.” “Did he really forget? Or did he just take the one he liked more?” “Why is he being dishonest with me?” It also brought back memories of when I was a child living abroad, I’d have classmates (whom I thought were good friends) stealing stationaries from me and using them the next day. I would ask them that “they were mine” (I could tell by the brand because you couldn’t get it locally) and they would tell me that they had bought it. I felt betrayed. I think some of these memories are also coming back up.
I tried making a model with the following thought:
C: Friend returned an umbrella
T: He’s giving me the cheaper one
F: ripped off
A: think about whether I should have confronted him more, thinking about it every once in a while during dinner and even after dinner, doubt his character, not being thankful that he returned it (although it’s a different one?)
R: I become cheap (cheapen our friendship)
I get the R but don’t feel like I’m having a breakthrough. I still feel like the C is true. And still sometimes fall back into the A line.
I know it helps to dissect the C and the T line and I tried.
Dissecting the T:
There is no thing as “the cheaper” one. What does “the cheaper” one mean?
But I couldn’t get past this point. It would be great if I can have some advice. Thank you!