C: Relationship with Boyfriend for a year and 7 months
T: I don’t love him as much as he loves me
hesitant to say I love you as much as he says it
Wanting to have alone time
Questioning if I’m doing this relationship thing wrong
Judging myself for not being at the same level and having these thoughts
Journaling all the things I love about him
R: indecisive about this relationship and not creating more love
I also have this model going simultaneously…..
C: Boyfriend says I love you and I say it back
T: I’m lying
A: get annoyed when he says it too much
Feel pressure to make a decision
Desire to love him more with my thoughts
Don’t initiate it as much as he does
Buffer with food
He knows I have fears but I am wondering if I should tell him that I am trying to love him more to not feel like I’m being fake, but really I know can create more love with my thoughts so I’m kinda “faking it til I make it” right?
But it bothers me to feel like he loves me so much and that I’m not reciprocating on the same level. I wish I just loved him as much as he loves me but I’m not there right now. I am not sure how to get there yet. Part of me also fears me being limited by having a relationship in general which he already knows and we work on together.
Not sure where to go from here. Advice is very much appreciated!