Don’t Stigmatize my Children!

I have so many feelings of fear and worry about my children’s medical issues. But in an exchange with another mom earlier I realized that I think I am perpetuating these and making it worse with my thinking. I just want some feedback and to explain this so it can crystalize and I will stop perpetuating that my kids are “different”, “disadvantaged” etc….

Too many other moms with whom I talk (even those I do not know well), I will mention my kids had medical problems when they were born. Earlier, the mom I spoke with said, “Oh No…” just being empathic…. Then it put me in a place of feeling different, “othered”, and like my kids and I have it “harder” than everyone else.

I think we DO in many ways (more surgeries, doctors, etc). But me constantly inserting that into even casual conversations is NOT helping me focus on the good, the health, the happiness and normalcy that we have ahead of us….

Any feedback is welcome. I am just seeing here that if i want to feel “normal” and healthy, I need to stop constantly slipping into conversations the ways they are “not as healthy” and how our hospital time and early life was “so hard”.

How do I give compassion and credit to our long, difficult NICU stays, but also let it go and not let it define us (and THEM!). ??