Backstory – We didn’t have a dining room table for a long time.  The kids got used to eating on the couch or in their room.  We now have a table.  I want everyone to use it for meals.

My older daughter is resisting this and fighting with us about it.  Yesterday, I stood my ground and she ate meals at the table and was actually pleasant throughout the day which is unusual after she fights us like that.

I am trying really hard to not take credit for the kids decisions especially when it’s a negative interaction, etc.  Even decisions that I feel happy about I’m trying to not give them credit.  But it’s hard because it really feels like I’m feeling relief and happiness because she ate a meal at the table when I asked her to.

I think I need help with this model:

C – Daughter ate at the table
T – She’s listening to me and understanding why I want her to eat at the table
F – Relief, joy
A – Enjoy the relieved/joy feeling; justify why it’s a good idea for her to eat at the table; convince myself she’s turning a corner and we can start to have a better relationship; brace myself for the next fight because I don’t believe the cooperation will last.
R – I’m taking credit for her decision and relying on her actions for my feelings.