Follow up: How to have boundaries when someone doesn’t do something

Thank you for your helpful response! Here’s my follow up!

You ask: “So what are you making it mean when your friend says she didn’t read your writing? Why is it a problem for you?”

My thoughts: “she’s not interested in my work”, “she doesn’t respect me professionally”, “She doesn’t support me as a writer” “She could be jealous”
Problem: I don’t feel safe around her, because I don’t trust myself to stand up for myself with her (historically I have wanted this persons approval)

You say: “No thought is good or bad, right or wrong. You get to keep this thought if you want to. The question is what’s it costing you to hold onto it?”

It’s costing me some friendships to be honest.

But I cannot seem to find thoughts that wouldn’t have that same result, even if I think thoughts like “Her actions are the result of her model” “I show up with love for myself” “What other people think of me is their business” or “I respect myself professionally” for example, I still don’t come away wanting to stay friends. So I guess I could then choose to stop being friends, but I would have to like my reasons – right?

What could possible healthy reasons to ‘love and leave someone’ be in circumstances like these where people are not doing things?

Is it possible that since I have been more empowered and loving towards myself I do need to let go of some friendships? I feel like now that I respect myself more it is highlighting where others don’t respect me, or am I still trapped in having manuals/ expectations? I am having a thought that some of my friendships belong to my past when I was less confident.

P.S. I do have friends who don’t read my writing, it’s more in this case 1. that it’s combined with other things she’s not doing and 2. She keeps telling me how great I am etc but hasn’t read it, so what I experience as a disconnect between actions/ words.