Every body else’s feelings

So now that I know I am responsible for my own feelings because of the thoughts in my brain, what can I do about everybody else in my life thinking that I’m responsible for their feelings? I’m constantly being told that I’m hurting their feelings or I making them mad. I really do try to control my behavior but even when I’m doing my best I feel like I’m stepping on toes. Someone in a call this month talked about having a hot brain. I think that’s what I have ….. a hot brain. I hear something and then I React. I am always trying to change myself so others are happy. Then I get pissed and theres that hot brain. Any advice?