Dear Brooke,

Last month, I wrote to you asking how to approach my FIL’s behaviour regarding him visiting our house and sitting on the sofa all day with his headphones, looking at his I Pad. He visited this past weekend and I was determined to use this as an exercise in observing my thoughts. I was wondering how often I would be fishing out my manual for him and be constantly but (begrudgingly) reminding myself that he gets to do whatever he wants.

Sure enough as you predicted, he did sit on the sofa most of the weekend but it was surprisingly easy just to let him be – because I expected him to do it anyway and even found it quite amusing. I treated him as a good friend and to my surprise he offered to do some kitchen prep! What was so great about not having a manual for him was that it works both ways… I stopped worrying about what the in-laws thought of me and instead of stressing and fussing around them I did exactly as I pleased i.e. going out for a run, going to my room for some down-time instead of feeling like I had to spend all my time with them. As a result, I genuinely enjoyed the weekend and am looking forward to seeing them again.

So a message to say I am so surprised at how a change in thought can really make such a difference and how effortless it was. I’m not sure what the UK equivalent is for “blowing my own mind” but I would say that Self Coaching Scholars is totes ‘mazeballs (totally amazing!).

LoiX