Fear around money

Hi there! I was doing my work around maintaining my weight and something curious came up. I love weighting 52kg. I got there and I was feeling so much fear that I sabotage by making it ok to not plan on weekends. And one thing that made me fear that is I’d love to dress myself better which would require me to buy new clothes. But I did a TD that came up like this:
I can’t spend money on new clothes. Because I don’t make my own money so I can’t spend my husbands money. If I spend money I’ll have less. Money comes from other people. I should never ask for money because it’s wrong. Asking for money is painful. I hurt people when I ask for money. I’m a terrible person when I ask for money.
This all came up because growing up poor my mom had to hide from my dad the things she bought like clothes, groceries so he would not get mad at her. We lived in debt all the time. Every time I had to ask my dad for money I had to prepare myself because he would get so angry and say that he did not have any money (even to this day this is his mantra). This is so strong to me that I can’t even ask people to pay for my coaching, I feel so bad for letting my husband buy things for me, so bad for doing groceries, and I do not buy anything for myself unless my clothes are falling apart. When when I do buy I think I shouldn’t because something is going to happen and we are going to be in need one day so I need to save for that. How do I change that? The money course is amazing but my mind can’t catch up to the idea that money making is easy, money is a good thing, and the most important one is that money making is a skill.
Thank you so much. Scholars is definitely the best thing in the world! Love xo