I know that not being married at 30 is possibly a disgrace to the family in my culture.
Recently, one of my family members started to talk about someone we both know and someone who I am feeling a bit uneasy feeling with due to other things from our past interactions.
My mom kept saying how this person is “much” better than me because she is able to find a husband after going through a divorce and the fact that I have never really been in a serious relationships means that I am so much inferior. She told me I should overlook all this person’s shortcomings and focus on what this person has that I don’t have that caused her to be able to find a man.
After the conversation at the lunch table, I feel extremely uneasy about it. Although the comparision situation is very common from my culture and from my household, this just gets to another level and feels like a personal attack.
I journaled my thoughts and did models but I don’t know if my intentional model is all that convincing to me.
The conversation not only exacerbated my shameful feeling but it made me feel more jealousy and resentful toward my co-worker who has a husband and 2 kids – I don’t think the feeling would be as intense if the conversation has not taken place.