Hi Brooke

I have done so well with not drinking since January and no sugar/flour until I went on holiday with my family.
I am healthy and fit and not an overdrinker nor an overeater, but I did want to challenge myself to see what it would bring up. I wonder if it is the restriction I’m attracted to? I also did used to buffer heavily with over drinking.
Anyway I decided to experience fully the holiday and let myself drink and eat whatever whilst away. I didn’t overeat or overdrink and there was no negative consequence so I don’t think it was buffering. I did feel a bit disappointed with myself however, but I find that having ‘the whole experience’ is something that’s equally important to me. Is this me slipping into apathy and not recognising it?

Here’s a model
C not holding my commitment to not drinking
T i deliberately decided to experience the whole thing, but I let myself down
F mildly disappointed, shame
A thought circles in head
R degrade self confidence

C not holding my commitment
T I can start again. It’s all part of the learning. It was meant to come up for me
F peaceful
A return to commitments
R prove resilience

Thanks for any help