More guidance needed please….

Hello! Okay so I went 8 straight days with no flour no sugar. Went 16 days with IF till noon. I broke the sugar rule and once I broke it once I have caved daily. So very frustrating for me. I feel doomed now.
I journal my food, do thought downloads daily, but I can’t seem to focus on my goal of getting to 120lbs by April 22nd. Very lofty goal but I feel that it’s possible. I believe in reaching that goal. My compelling reason is that I want freedom from thinking about losing weight. i am tired of always thinking about losing weight. I am tired of looking at my legs and cellulite and being disgusted and feeling hopeless that that’s just the way it is now. I am tired of always thinking about my weight and then buffering by having a constant flow of sugar in my body to make the thoughts go away.
So…can you give me more guidance on how to focus on my goal? I think of it in the morning and feel motivated. Then again at night but between 4:00-7:00 is the problematic time for me.
Am I doomed now that I broke the cycle??