Guilt BH

Hi Brooke

I feel terrible, I have a lot of business stuff going on and its going really well, people often tell me that I hold my cards close to my chest, and its true, I do. But it makes me feel guilty, like I am hiding stuff from family and friends. The truth is, I don’t want to tell people about what I am doing until its a done deal. I have a business that I started recently and the product aspect is currently in the R&D stage and I feel that until the product is realised there is no business so there is no point in telling anyone about. I feel that until its legitimate, until its realised, its only a thought, its not a business or a product until you have something tangible. The last business I started, people only knew about it when they received an invitation for its launch, 12 months after I actually started working on it, this left some people feeling that they were not kept in the loop and that I kept things from them, which technically is what i did.

Part of me wanting to keep things private is that if I fail, if the business fails then only I will know about it and I won’t have to feel the shame of others finding out or to experience them feeling or saying that they knew I couldn’t execute and that I didn’t have what it took.

I have just told my Mother about the various things I am doing (she knows I am ‘up to something’ and keeps asking me what I am doing, she is widowed and she missed my Dad alot so I feel like I should share some stuff with her) and now I feel racked with guilt, I hate people knowing my business, I don’t trust them to keep it confidential, now they will expect to see the results and what happens if I can’t do it.

As I write this, I can see I have feelings of guilt, shame, failure and fear (its mostly around business and money) What is the best way for me to move forward with this. Should I do models on these feelings and then fill in the blanks?

F shame
A don’t share in case I fail and judge me because I am stupid
R keep a massive part of my life closed to most people

Many thanks