Having problems when people close to me complain

I get annoyed when people complain to me. I noticed that my mom, aunt, and husband(the 3 people I’m the closest to) have the habit of complaining to me when we’re in a conversation(in person or online). Being a people pleaser, I realize that I’ve been allowing them to complain to me for as long as they need, even though I hate listening to them. I rarely tell them to stop, or that enough is enough.

I wrote down all my thoughts about others’ complaints. Most of them seem judgmental. Thoughts like:

  • “Why don’t you grow up and be responsible for your own feelings?”
  • “This is such negative energy that I don’t want to be around”(then I started judging myself for having these thoughts)
  • “I don’t have time for this B.S.”
  • “Enough is enough”
  • “I don’t have time for this anymore”

On one hand, I want to tell people to stop complaining to me, and choose not to listen to the complaints unless it’s directly related to my personal doing to them. On the other hand, I feel guilty for not listening to them, especially my husband when he thinks he needs someone to vent to.

Is this a boundary issue that I need to make a decision myself and proceed with it?

Thank you