Help for Changing Myself

Hi Brooke,
It seems like the more I try to change my pattern of dealing with people (specifically my boyfriend) and my thoughts about myself, nothing works! We get in arguments because I’m very sensitive and he is very loose with his words. I know you say that people can’t hurt your feelings – it’s my thoughts that are hurting me – but in the middle of a confrontation, it’s hard to stop and do the model in my head … I get hurt, then I react to him and then all hell breaks out! I want to be a loving, kind, grateful person but arrogance, defensiveness, and stubbornness always seem to come out. He says I am unappreciative of all he does for me and don’t respect him. To some degree, this is true but I also feel he does not respect me. I’ve done counseling in the past, and now enrolled in your Life Coaching School but it seems like nothing changes – I always revert back to the old self. I want to remake myself and be a person I can be proud to be, and live in peace and harmony with myself and others. I don’t know why I don’t change – I’m unhappy with myself and wish I were a different person. What can I do?
Thank you