For March I’m looking at getting unstuck on making a decision about my career:
I made a decision 2.5 years ago to switch back to my undergrad career path in architecture. I had previously been “kicked off the horse” due to the Recession, and I fought my way back to “get back on the horse”. The goal being: prove to myself I can do this despite it being hard. I have accomplished that objective and learned many wonderful things:
1. I am capable of doing this challenging career
2. I’ve grown and produced work that demonstrates my competency
3. I’ve learned to sit with the discomfort of learning things that were challenging for me
4. I made mistakes but kept going and got better
However, my brain keeps telling me I don’t really enjoy the work, and I’m meant to do something else more aligned with my natural strengths and passions. I graduated last year with a business degree and feel excited about that as a future for myself, but also completely blocked at the moment.
I get stuck on thoughts I am having a hard time letting go of around changing courses. My thoughts result in me feeling guilty if I don’t keep going on the original path and start working on my professional license. Thoughts getting in my way:
-Ego, if I give up this prestigious career path after working so hard towards it, and overcoming such great obstacles… what does that say about me?
-Doubt, What if you make the wrong decision. What if you just stuck with it? Or what if you just tried a different firm? Maybe then you’d like it.
-Guilt, What will those who have helped me on this career path think of my decision to make a change… will they be upset, hurt, disappointed?
-Fear, I don’t have control over the outcome of my decision. Making a change doesn’t guarantee the outcome I want to achieve.
-Uncertainty, You’ve may have defined what you want to yourself, but nobody is knocking down your door for your talents in this area.
I have a lot of work to do on this, and it’s been something I’ve been unable to move forward on this since May of last year when I graduated. I’m torn between my two identities of who I was in my 20s and who I am becoming in my 30s. I need some help.
A belief I have been trying to work toward is, “This isn’t a good fit for me, and I have a much bigger calling ahead of me to make a bigger impact on the world.” I’d like to get more solid on working my brain out of this labyrinth I’ve created for myself.