Help with model on husband

Hello Brooke,

Thank you for creating VIP scholars – love it!! I feel so special. 🙂

I would appreciate some help with a model on my husband. I have a huge manual for him and just realizing that I have a manual for the people in my life has given me so much perspective and relief – thank you for that!

My husband is an over-drinker and my manual states that he needs to stop over drinking. (I don’t drink, but I was an over-eater. Thanks to your wonderfulness, I have lost 34 pounds since starting SCS on January 1st, and have 18 more pounds to lose to get to my blow-my-own-mind goal weight.)

Unintentional Model:

C husband’s drinking

T he drinks to much and should try to cut back

F anxious

A worry about his drinking and make comments about it

R husband is annoyed and drinks how much he wants to anyway

Intentional Model:

C husband’s drinking

T ???

F calm

A relaxed and calm, make no comments to husband

R I am less anxious and husband will do what he wants to do, as always

I am stuck on a thought to think that will give me the feeling I think I want. Intellectually I know that my husband will always get to do whatever he wants, and that I can’t control his actions. Maybe I need bridge thoughts?

Thank you for any help!!