I am frequently affected by other people’s actions, including complete stranger and I can clearly see the connection from my thoughts (A common thought is: (Person) doesn’t respect me”.) to my feelings (angry, annoyed, rejected etc depending on the person) and how I then end up not respecting/ loving/ taking care of myself through my actions.

I have had this awareness for a few years now, what is the next step to changing this? I am currently trying to feel compassion for myself for going through life like this, but feel like when I try to feel compassion my thoughts go into me being a victim or blaming my past/childhood etc..

UM:

C – Angry with passer-by for bumping into me and not saying sorry (thought: they don’t respect me – This is taken from previous IM – where this is in the T-line)
T – I should know better than to let a complete stranger affect my mood
F- Shame
A – judge self, blame self, blame parents, blame other person, buffer, try to get help from others (e.g SCS, partner, friends)
C – I am caught in spiral of negativity, I let others affect my mood

Working on IM:

C – Angry. judging thoughts about stranger
T – It’s ok that’s just my brain doing what the brain does, no need to make it worse…
F – ?
A – ?
R – Desired result: I am able to function in emotional adulthood most of the time and don’t allow my emotions to be blown around by other people. I treat myself with compassion and love..