How to apply the model to grief?

In applying the model to grief, I’m finding it difficult to process emotions. The thoughts I’m having about my c-line (my mother died) are all over the place. And I find myself “should-ing” about the thoughts and feelings often. Do I just process the negative emotions? However that looks? Am I distracting myself with thought work about grief instead of just feeling it? And if it never really ends, how the heck do I make a model for it?