How to help people without preaching the model

How do you help someone or advise a person who is going through a relationship (or whatever) crisis without preaching a model to them? They have no idea anything like this exists and I often annoy people trying to coach them (I try not to, but sometimes I catch myself doing it). They often get defensive and I know their problems are not my responsibility but I also love them and want to give advice that could help. Any ideas on how to communicate this?