I had two big epiphanies today. I think it’s a good thing, but I need help seeing my way through!
On the call about working the model, I identified 100% with the lovely lady who was beating herself up. My big ah-ha was when you told her somewhere she believes she deserves to beat up and that’s where she needs to do the work. That resonated as absolutely true for me as well, yet I couldn’t understand why I would subconsciously believe that.
Then I was watching Anne with an E on Netflix. It triggered some stuffed down emotions from my childhood and experiences I had as an adopted/awkward kid and all these things were brought to my remembrance. And I realized oh my goodness this is where all this deeply rooted unworthiness comes from and why I think I need to beat myself up!
So I’m letting myself feel the emotions that have come up, but that’s as far as I’ve gotten. I believe in your/Byron Katie philosophy to love what is… my childhood was ABSOLUTELY the perfect childhood for me. I truly honestly believe that and have for years. Yet I also get that I need to do thought work on this unworthiness. But I don’t know how/where to start. I’ve thought of rewriting my story without the false belief as the theme. Please give me your thoughts and wisdom. Thank you!!!