I know my husband loves me but it seems like he would rather do anything but spend time with me. He expresses his love in various other ways but I want him to spend quality time with me. I am lonely and feel alone. I want to be in a marriage where my husband wants to be with me but I know I can’t make him do anything or change him.

His actions and lack of actions are the circumstance. My thought is I wish he would want to spend time with me which leads to me feeling lonely and unhappy. When I feel this way I become withdrawn/ complain about how he does not spend time with me. I tell him how I’m feeling and what I want and he thinks that I am criticizing him and gets offended, which leads to him not wanting to be around me – and around and around we go. Because of the model, I know that it’s my thinking and not him that is making me unhappy but I can’t seem to change the thoughts, I keep having them. Please help.