Hi Brooke,

Just want to get your advice here about my husband and I. We are together since 18 years even if we are so so different… he is really what I need to grow myself 🙂
I think there is one thing particularly challenging for me : all his friends women 🙂

We grew up totally differently. Me in my books studying until I get a Phd in Chemistry.
Him, on the street, in Tunisia. He left school at 13 years old…
He loves being surrounded with people. I love being alone, working on myself.

He enjoys making new relationship, all days…
I don’t. I think most people brings us problem we wouldn’t have if we would have not met them… It’s a bit exaggerated, but I am not so far from thinking this.

The issue that challenged me this weekend is that he came back from Tunisia.
And again met with the woman who sat just next to him. You can understand here this is very usual 🙂
He explained to me when he came back home that he met her, exchanged phone number, etc, just when he came back home.
The day after she called him, I was just near, and today they have an appointment together…
He shared this with me honestly.

But my big issue is this strong deep disbelief in real friendship between a man and a woman.
This kind of situation has bring us hundreds of discussion where he always explained to me that there is nothing wrong, they are just friends, he never even think of sex with them, and always tells me that he makes this very clear to them also…

My models :

Unintentional
C : He met a woman on the plane (one more ! so this circumstance is for the last one, or the 100 others during these 18 years 🙂 )
T : He is taking a lot of risks for our relationship. I don’t belief in friendship between a man and a woman
F : Doubt, angry
A : Start strong discussion – Trying to control him
R : Not funny to be with

Intentional
C : He met a woman on the plane
T : The universe brings me what I need to learn. Whatever may happen I have in me the qualities to be able to continue my life
F : Faith, Confident
A : Laughing with him about these women
R : More funny to be with

Nevertheless, I must admit I am not yet able to believe this new thought at 100% yet. Maybe 50% is accurate…
I am really NOT thinking that “this new thought is totally silly and I am making myself delusional in trying to accept the unacceptable »…
I am able to really go further than this… Even if, as said, not yet believing it at 100%…

And you know how I know this…
Because he came back sooner than planed today, while he should have gone for the appointment with her, and finally he told me didn’t met her. They just called and changed their plans…

I felt big relief…

Of course, I have no evidence neither of this. He also could have had the time to meet her before… But as said, her, or 100 other women during these 18 years…
Doubt is here, still, sometime. I can never know for sure.

What I know for sure that these are only Circumstances that I can’t control…

What are your advice around my challenge, so much bigger than working for a Phd :)))
What about my models ?

Thanks