It’s Saturday and my husband will be working at home today, on a side project. Based on experience I expect him to be really cranky. He feels victimized by having to work on a Saturday. And he will be frustrated because my son will make noise in the next bedroom playing his video game. My husband will not use headphones or do anything to prevent himself from being annoyed by the noise. He will expect everyone’s day and activities to revolve around his need to work. Generally, later in the day, there will be a huge blowout with yelling from him.

I welcome input on my models!

UM
c- Husband told me a few days ago that he has to do some work today.
t- Husband will be cranky today
f- anxious
a- buffer, don’t work on my contract, don’t work on items on my to-do list that require focus, don’t do anything fun, don’t engage kids in activities, don’t leave house so I can monitor the family for signs of conflict, offer to shop and make dinner, try to tidy up, keep reminding son not to make noise, basically people-please Husband
r- End the day feeling cranky because I didn’t meet any of my needs.

IM
c- Husband told me a few days ago that he has to do some work today.
t- I can’t control Husband’s feelings {is this a helpful ladder thought?}
f- detached {is this the right feeling to counteract people-pleasing and wanting to “keep the peace”?}
a- focus on my needs, set expectations with son but don’t hover, ask Husband if he needs help with anything, don’t people-please or spend all day trying to “keep the peace” {am I on the right track with actions to take?}
r- I control my own day and feelings.