C: DH, words, “you are just OCD”. He yells at me in the car when we are on our way to visit friends. I don’t take it personally. But it bothers me in the sense that I do not wish to be spoken to in this manner. I say please do not yell at me. He says, he only did this because I blamed him for not having recognized the turn. I say, yelling at me is not acceptable to me. Eventually he says, he is sorry, he did not need to do this. Next day, I say, I need to discuss something with you. We have spoken before about behaviors that don’t work for me, and affect our relationship and I need to let you know that this is one of those behaviors. He said, I have already said sorry, just let it go. You are just OCD.
C: DH. Loud in car.
T: I deserve to be spoken to with respect
A: Bring this up to him: “Please do not yell at me”; speak up; remain calm, at peace.
R: I treat myself with respect.
C: Convo w DH about loud speaking. Says words: “You are OCD. “
T: I notice that he is calling me a name.
A: I bring this up with him: Please do not call me OCD.
R: I notice. I am in my power by speaking to what I need. I also am aware that what I want is not what I am receiving.
Thoughts about bothered
T: I want to feel bothered when he calls me a name
A: I make a mental note of this, write it in my journal, tdl. Investigate what my options are.
R: I take my attention to what’s important to me.
Please take a look at these models.
What’s my next step? What do you suggest I model next? He’s not going to change anytime soon. I am not making it mean anything about me, I do not feel bad about myself. I like myself. I also like to be in a relationship where I am not yelled at, or called names. So, I am at peace with myself, but not at peace with staying with yelling, or name calling.