Impossible Goal

I am trying to articulate my impossible goal for 2021 and am indulging in a lot of confusion.

My impossible goal is to save enough money to enrol in LCS Certification. When the ultimate goal is to become a coach and entrepreneur I can visualize what that will be like and what type of person I will need to become. That excites and motivates me- I can imagine myself living up to my potential and becoming the fullest expression of who I am meant to be.

Saving the money seems impossible. I am a single mother with mortgage payments and debt. I feel nauseous when I think about the length of time it will take to save the money for Certification. I’m in Canada so it will cost at least 30% more. I created a spreadsheet last night to make a plan for saving and ended up binge eating as it feels so hopeless. Here is my unintentional model:

C- Saving money for certification
T- I will never be able to follow my dreams
F- Sadness, grief
A- Buffering
R- Failing in advance

I tried to create an intentional model by moving saving money to the result line. This is the model that I need help with:

C- (I need help here. Should I say “I am a Life Coach”?)
T- I have done anything I have set my mind to
F- Determined
A- Following a budget, hustling
R- Saving the money for certification

Any help would be greatly appreciated!