Impossible goal question – my marriage

Hi Brooke,

By the end of 2018, I want to be able to have the thought, “I think my husband is amazing.” This truly feels impossible. I’ve been spending the entire month planning and just getting my mind around how to do this. Currently, I’m between these two thoughts:

1. If I let go of my expectations/the manual I have for him, I’ll still be left with a lot of negative feelings and negative times.
2. If I don’t let go of the manual, I’ll still have a fair marriage but one with a lot of negative feelings and negative times.

I get the concept of the manual when it comes to my other relationships, and it’s actually been fairly easy for me to implement, but I DONT GET it with this one. My lower brain is freaking out. Typically, when I acknowledge my lower brain is freaking out I get an immediate sense of calm and empowerment, but not with this topic. I feel like I’m trying so hard to just let him be him, but I don’t think I really want too.

Thank you, in advance, for your response,