We are in the process of interviewing au pairs and want to hire one ASAP. We thought we had found the right match on Friday but she chose a different family. I was heartbroken. It felt like being dumped, and I haven’t been dumped in a LONG time. So on Sunday we spoke to our second choice (though still awesome) au pair and she agreed to match with us. But she hasn’t accepted the match! It’s been over 24 hours. I emailed her and the company about it. The company extended the match deadline, but she still hasn’t accepted or communicated in any way.

I feel dumped again. Or duped? Did I misunderstand? I’m having all these horrible thoughts and they’re making me nauseous. What if she didn’t really like us, what if she chose another family, what if she’s not responsible enough to get a Visa to even get to the States, what if she’s not reliable.

So here’s my model:
C – Offered match to au pair Sunday at 5pm, hasn’t been accepted as of 9pm Monday
T – She’s already proving to not be reliable
F – Distress (extreme anxiety is the definition of this feeling, seems accurate)
A – Don’t eat enough, drink wine, snap at kids, get the dropsies, nauseous, intestinal distress
R – Exhaustion, longest. day. ever.

Now what? Honestly I think the worst part is the physical illness that this “distress” is causing, I’m having trouble functioning at even a basic level today. The worst thing that could happen today isn’t a feeling, it’s spending a good portion of the day in the bathroom BECAUSE of the feeling.