My mom is an overall lovely person and we have a decent relationship. She has recently asked me to help her sort through old albums and files of old papers she has kept. Background is that she has a pack rat tendency and likes to keep everything while I am a minimalist and love to get rid of stuff.

Anyway as we were sorting things she wouldn’t get rid of anything. For example, if we had a program for an awards ceremony, and had multiple copies, she wanted to keep all the copies. Or if there were 10 photos from an event, instead of picking the best 3 or 4, she wanted to keep all 10. I got more and more frustrated the more I worked with her. I don’t know why she is asking me to help if she won’t actually get rid of anything.

I realize that I have created a “manual” for her: she should pare down items. But this seems reasonable if someone is asking you to help them pare down items.

Here is the model I came up with:

C: Mom asked me to help her sort through old photos and papers
T: I don’t know why she is asking me to help if she won’t get rid of anything
F: Frustration
A: Judge her, seethe inside, don’t appreciate who she is, possibly be harsh with her
R: Friction between us, don’t like how I’m showing up

Any advice on how to handle this situation? Should I just decline helping her?