Is "This is unacceptable" an empowering thought?

when I do models around some of my partners behaviours, the only thought that I can get to that produces a good feeling is “This is unacceptable” or “I will not allow myself to be treated in this way” – when i think these thoughts the feeling i get is empowered, but when I think of actions they usually lead to leaving or in some other way absenting myself from the relationship.

I’m wondering if this is a thought error and is in fact producing anger?


C- partner blocked my phone 1 week ago (or more neutral? – we have not been in contact for 1 week)
T – 1. they don’t respect me 2. if they wanted space we should have talked about it first
F – 1. rejected 2.powerless (both also angry)
A – try to distract myself, don’t sleep well, reach out to self-coaching scholars, throw myself into work but make mistakes due to being tired/emotional, talk to good friend then regret it, comfort eat, try to figure out what partner might have been thinking to do this, binge on self-help materials trying to feel better about myself regardless of how others treat me, judge myself for letting it get to me, try to contact partner by email and get no response, message friends in common trying to find out what is going on
R – I don’t respect me/ I’m not making space for myself

C- we have not spoken for one week
T- This is unacceptable
F – 1. Empowered 2. Helpless
A – 1. Focus more on me and my stuff, get stuff done, don’t try to contact partner/ allow them to take space, think of leaving the relationship and what that would be like 2. take care of myself and process/allow feelings of sadness, forgive myself for above ‘mistakes’ (in action line of UM), think of ways in which it might not be good for me to stay
R – I am acceptable (?)

Would love your thoughts on this!