Hi Brooke – you wonderful woman you!

My boyfriend is a wonderful loving and naturally kind man. We have a great relationship that is often spoiled by my feelings of jealousy. I’m a sulker! I know that these feelings arise from my thoughts and I have always had feelings of (mostly) unwarranted jealousy in all my past relationships. I fear I might be wired wonky but I also strongly believe that even if I am I can do the thought work to stop letting it control me. I hate how I feel and how I show up when I get jealous. It’s not who I am or at least not who I want to be.

I heard you talking on the last live coaching call with a woman who suffers with anxiety and you suggested to her that she try two different models with one as anxiety as an F and another with it as a C. I just wondered if you feel that would work with feelings of emotional jealousy? I want to find the thoughts that are causing these feelings but I am struggling. I certainly want to stop feeling this way

I also want to stop showing up as a cow for my boyfriend and wonder if I could apply the 100 urges technique here. I feel my reaction to the jealous thoughts are like urges, an itch needing to be scratched. I have created the habit over the years of always satisfying the urge with some sort of response, e.g. a snarky comment, asking a casual (probing) question or dropping into to his place of work. What if, like over drinking and eating, I allowed the feeling of jealousy urge to be there but don’t respond to it writing down my feelings and aiming to get to 100? Do you think this work could be applied this way?

With so much love and thanks

Victoria x